


Oblivious

by GythaOgg



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Archivist Castiel, Best Friends, Castiel and Dean Winchester Being Idiots, Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Dean thinks Cas is asleep, Destiel - Freeform, Engineer Dean Winchester, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, I changed Amara's name to Mara, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Castiel (Supernatural), Oblivious Castiel/Dean Winchester, Oblivious Dean Winchester, Pining Castiel (Supernatural), Pining Dean Winchester, Pre-Relationship, but also mid-relationship, very brief mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GythaOgg/pseuds/GythaOgg
Summary: Dean and Cas have been best friends since senior year of college. Cas has always secretly been in love with Dean, but Cas has never seen any signs that Dean feels the same, even after they started adding 'benefits' to their friendship a couple of years ago. And then one night, Cas finds out that Dean really IS interested . . . but Dean doesn't know that Cas knows. Cas is smug. Dean is perplexed. There's a lot of smarmy romantic goo.*No teddy bears were harmed in the making of this story.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 13
Kudos: 188





	Oblivious

Cas is excited. OK, maybe giddy, if he’s being honest. Between work and family, and that project Dean was helping his Aunt Ellen with, he hasn’t seen Dean in almost a month. But Ellen’s porch is finished, both their work schedules have finally calmed down, and he’s is going over to Dean’s place for dinner tonight.

Dean is a damn good cook, so Cas is almost as excited for the food as he is for the company. (Almost.) Of course, with them, dinner usually leads to other things, and Cas is most definitely looking forward to that.

It’s not like Cas is a hermit when he’s not with Dean. He spends time with his sister Anna, and (more reluctantly) his brother Gabriel. He goes out for drinks with Meg and Balthazar at least once a month, and he attends Daphne’s yoga class every Wednesday, like clockwork. He has friends. They just aren’t as . . . close as he and Dean are.

Dean has been Cas’s best friend since college. Dean had been wrapping up an Engineering degree, and Cas was finishing his undergraduate in History. They met in an LGBT History class senior year, and they just clicked right away. Dean had a girlfriend at the time, and Cas had just split up with Balthazar, so there was nothing romantic between them, but they became great friends, and had been there for each other through all kinds of ups and downs in the intervening years. First came Dean and Lisa’s messy breakup, Cas’s father passing away, and Dean’s mom marrying Bobby. Then Gabriel’s twins being born, and shortly after that, his wife’s suicide. More recently, Dean had gotten his dream job with UTC, only to be laid off two years later, just before Cas’s absolute douche of a boss tried to fire him for being gay. (In the legal battle that followed, that boss was fired, and Cas is not only still employed by the Yale University Library, but is a minor hero amongst its queer staff and patrons.)

In the background, has been a haphazard series of boyfriends, girlfriends, and hookups, but no real promising, long-term relationships for either of them. So, in the last couple of years, they’ve decided to add “benefits” to their friendship. Dean officially gave up on dating a few years back, and Cas wasn’t seeing anyone at the time, so their arrangement had worked out just fine. Even better, (or worse, depending on your perspective) because Cas has been rather madly in love with Dean for several years. Sadly, Dean has never shown any real romantic interest, and with his announcement that he was “quitting the dating game for good”, Cas knew he’d never have the chance to be anything more with Dean. So, when his friend laid out his proposition for a fuck-buddy arrangement, Cas figured he may as well take what he could get, even if it was less than what he truly wished for.

At first, they’d hooked up now and then, when one of them had a dry spell, or needed some stress relief, or sometimes, when they were just drunk and bored. Then, Dean’s hookups with strangers and casual acquaintances started to taper off, and recently, Cas realized that Dean hasn’t mentioned sex with anyone else in quite a long time. Cas, of course, hasn’t even _looked_ at anyone else since he started sleeping with Dean. As of last week, the two of them have been unofficially monogamous for a year. They don’t discuss it, of course, because Cas is damn well not going to jinx it, and Dean has still never even hinted that they should be a real couple (though literally every one of their friends and family members has).

Still, they do _behave_ like a real couple. Maybe not a couple who does a lot of PDA, but they talk or text every day, they have keys to each other’s homes, they go out together, cook for each other, attend family events together. They even sleep over (which is frankly one of Cas’s favorite things in the world). He loves falling asleep with Dean and waking up with him . . . even if he does snore, and is a grouchy bastard before his first cup of coffee. Cas was in Dean’s little brother’s wedding, and Dean was in Anna’s. Their friend groups merged long ago. Dean’s mother insists that Cas call her “Mom”. (Dean does NOT call Cas’s mother “Mom”, because Mara is a huge flirt, as is Dean, and it’s already weird enough, with the two of them in the same room.) Hell, they’ve even gone on vacation together a few times.

Would Cas prefer to be in a real relationship with Dean? Of course. At 31, he’s starting to feel the urge to settle down with someone, maybe have some kids, and he can’t imagine anyone who would be a better fit for that role in his life. Dean is clever, funny, loyal, responsible, strong, and gorgeous. He’s a great cook, has a good job with Trang Engineering, he’s fantastic in bed, wonderful with kids, and Cas trusts him with his life. He would be the perfect husband. But Cas isn’t willing to risk what they have, just to be shot down. He’s sure Dean would be gracious about it, of course, but things would change. The sex would certainly end, for one thing, and Cas is in no hurry to terminate that part of their friendship, thank you very much. No, it’s been nine years. If Dean had feelings for him, he would have said something by now. So Cas has resigned himself to enjoying what they DO have, as long as he can have it, and that’s exactly what he’s going to do tonight.

By 6:45, Cas is in the car, halfway to Dean’s. He calls to check in, because he’s a considerate friend (and definitely not because he hasn’t heard Dean’s voice since yesterday).

“ _Hey, you’re not bailing on me, are you? I haven’t seen you in 200 years!”_

**“It’s been 24 days, Dean. But no, I’m not cancelling. I’m about to pass the good grocery store on the way to your house. Do you need me to get anything?”**

_“Aww, you’re too good to me, Cas. Maybe grab some more beer? Oh, and a bottle of Chardonnay? This sauce is soaking it up.”_

**“The beer or the wine?”**

_“The wine, Cas. The beer is for you and me.”_

**“Are you sure? You’re pretty hilarious when you’re wine drunk.”**

_“Smart ass. Hurry up and get over here already, will ya?”_

15 minutes later, Cas lets himself into Dean’s house, toeing off his shoes and hollering, “It’s me!”. Dean comes walking out of the kitchen to meet him, reaching for the bottle of wine and hugging Cas around one shoulder.

“Hey handsome, thanks for getting this,” he says, grinning. “Dinner’ll be done in 10 minutes. Can you throw those beers in the fridge?”

Cas does so, then grabs dishes from the cabinets and sets the table, without being asked. When he turns back to fetch silverware, he catches Dean staring after him, a soft smile on his face.

“What?”

“Nothin,” Dean mumbles, shaking his head. “I just missed hangin’ out.”

For a split second, Cas pictures that Bugs Bunny cartoon, where Bugs’ heart visibly thumps in his chest. Then he pulls himself together and steps forward, laying a kiss on the top of Dean’s head. “Me too. Now move your ass, you’re blocking the silverware drawer,” he says, hip checking Dean out of the way.

Dinner is fantastic, of course, and Cas tries to focus on his food, despite the increasingly lingering looks being traded back and forth. They do the dishes side by side, then sprawl on the couch to watch some TV. By the first commercial break, Dean’s arm is around Cas’s shoulders. By the second break, they’re kissing. To absolutely no one’s surprise, they miss the end of the show entirely, with Dean in Castiel’s lap, shirt off, panting and grinding against him.

They make it to the bedroom, but most of their clothes wind up on the back of the couch or in the hallway. In the end, they’re down to boxers and socks by the time they hit the bed. There’s a certain amount of frantic squirming, some giggling, and a sock that goes flying across the room, and finally, they’re both naked.

Sex with Dean is always good. _Always_. Sometimes it’s rough and hurried, a quick fuck against the wall. Sometimes it’s silly, when they’re both a little drunk, or just in a goofy mood. And once in a while, it’s like this . . . intense, slow and sweet, with lots of eye contact, and hardly a word spoken out loud. With anyone else, Cas would call this ‘making love’, but you can’t make love when only one of you is IN love, so . . . Regardless, it’s amazing, and Cas has rarely felt so wanted, so cherished. He does everything he can to put his feelings into actions. He wants Dean to feel adored.

When they finally collapse on the bed, sated and sweaty, Dean is stretched out with his arms open, waiting for Cas to curl up against him. There is, of course, nowhere Cas would rather be, and he closes his eyes, snuggling into Dean’s body heat. He’s not quite sleepy yet, so he indulges in a little daydream about what it would be like to do this every night, to have a life with Dean. He wonders if Dean would want kids, if he’d want to adopt, or find a surrogate. He thinks about baby names. He pictures going to their daughter’s wedding, growing old with Dean, sitting in rocking chairs and holding hands. Foolish to lose himself in impossible fantasies, he knows, but sometimes he just can’t help imagining how things might be, in another life.

He’s brought back to reality when Dean shifts, tightening his arm around Castiel. His fingers stroke through Cas’s hair, which Dean only ever does when he thinks Cas is asleep. It’s uncharacteristically sweet, and Cas loves it, so he never lets on that he’s awake. This time, the hair thing goes on for a minute or two before Dean sighs and shifts again, pressing his face against Cas’s hair. “God I love you,” he whispers, so low it’s barely audible, even in the silent room.

Cas’s heart stops. He’s so stunned he doesn’t even react –which is good, since Dean clearly didn’t mean for Cas to hear him. _Did he just imagine that . . . ? Did Dean just . . .!?!_ A minute later, he hears Dean’s soft snores, and he’s pretty sure Dean’s the only one who will be getting any sleep at all tonight.

Dean loves him?? Is that what the soft, gooey looks were, before dinner? The lovemaking? But they’ve done the lovemaking thing before, here and there. They’ve done it every so often for as long as they’ve been having sex. Every now and then, Dean will just be in a particular mood, that’s all. Though, now that Cas thinks about it, those moods are almost always preceded by attending a family gathering together, like a wedding, or a baby’s birthday, or Christmas, or by Dean saying something unusually sentimental. Have they actually been making love this whole time?!? 

_Why didn’t he say anything? He must have known I’d want to be with him, if I had the chance. Right? Then again, apparently I didn’t know HE wanted ME, so maybe he’s been just as oblivious as I have. Is this really happening? Could we really do this?_

Hours later, Cas does fall asleep, hugging Dean tight, a big smile on his face.

In the morning, he wakes up first, as usual, and looks down at Dean’s sleeping, drooling face. He grins and carefully slides out of bed, pulling on the first pair of boxers he lays hands on. He pads out to the kitchen to make coffee and start on breakfast, humming “I’m Walking on Sunshine” to himself.

He sets a few slices of bacon in the pan, and thinks, _Dean loooves me_ , as he sips his coffee. He cracks five eggs into a bowl and thinks, _Dean loves me_! He slides four pieces of bread into the toaster, grinning like the Cheshire cat, thinking, _he loves me_! 

By the time breakfast is ready, Dean is stumbling out into the kitchen, making a beeline for the coffee maker. Cas steps into his path, beaming, and hands him a cup, already full.

“What are you so perky for? It’s ass o’clock in the morning,” Dean grumbles.

_He loooves me._

“Just in a good mood. It’s a beautiful day!” Cas chirps.

Dean grunts, sitting at the table and slumping over his coffee cup. Cas dishes out the eggs, bacon, and toast, and slides the plate in front of Dean, pausing to smooth the man’s hair back from his forehead. Dean slurps his coffee, but after a moment, his eyes focus a bit.

“mumblemumblemumble”

“What’s that?” Cas asks, settling down across from Dean, with his own plate of food.

Dean’s eyes make a slow crawl up towards Cas’s face. “Thank you for cookin’. Smells good,” he mutters.

Cas flashes another dazzling smile at him. “My pleasure, Dean.” He continues humming off and on as he eats, tapping his foot and tilting his head side to side, in a lazy sort of chair dance. As he swallows his last bite, he looks up and sees Dean aiming a rather skeptical frown at him.

“Hmm?” Cas asks.

“What’s up with you, dude? You’re hummin’ and dancin’ and shit. You win the lotto or somethin’?”

Cas’s smile widens even further, showing his gums and crinkling up his eyes. “Somethin’. I told you, it’s a beautiful day!” He reaches over and steals a piece of Dean’s bacon. Dean tries to smack his hand away, but he’s too slow, and Cas sits back, rather smugly munching on his greasy prize.

Sure enough, his glee is enough to overpower even Dean’s early-morning grump. (At least, now that he’s had some coffee.) Finally, Dean’s eyebrows rise, his lips turn up at one corner, and he shrugs. “OK, fine. It’s a beautiful day. Ya got any plans for it?”

Cas stands up, gathering two empty plates and one coffee cup. (Dean refuses to relinquish his own cup.) “Wellll, how about the fair?”

Dean blinks at him. “The fair? YOU want to go to the State fucking Fair?”

Cas crosses his arms over his chest and tilts his head. “Yup.”

“I’ve tried to get you to go to the fair almost every year since college, and you say no every single time.”

“Well, now I wanna go. You don’t want to?”

“No, of course I want to. I love the fair! Fried food, cotton candy, rides, shooting games, cute little 4H kids, pie contests! What’s not to love?”

Cas nods, with a victorious smile on his face. “That’s settled, then.”

Since the fair gates don’t open until noon, they play video games while Dean does his laundry. Then Dean’s brother Sam calls, so Cas jumps in the shower, to give him some privacy. When he returns to the living room, rubbing a towel through his wet hair, Dean is pouting.

“Yeeesss?” Cas drones, with exaggerated patience.

The pout deepens. “Ya could’ve waited for me. I kinda wanted to suck you off.”

Cas gives him a coy smile, dropping one hand to his jeans, and starting to unbuckle his belt. “Oh, by all means!”

Dean pointedly turns away, crossing his arms. “No, the moment’s gone. Never mind now,” he huffs, playfully. He stands up and marches past Castiel, towards the bathroom, _mostly_ maintaining a straight face. He cracks a bit when Cas starts to snicker, but sticks his nose in the air and plows on anyway, determined to see the gag through.

Cas’s exceptionally good mood continues, inevitably rubbing off on Dean. They drive out to the fairgrounds, and Dean doesn’t even complain about having to park his beloved Impala in a field. They eat a bunch of carnival food, then decide to make a circuit of the games, hoping to walk off the corn dogs, churros, and fried dough before they risk getting on any rides.

The games are a great success. Dean is a good shot with a gun and with a softball, and Cas is pretty accurate with darts, so they both end up scoring baseball caps and stuffed animals in their first hour at the fair. They give most of the swag away to nearby kids, but when Dean jokingly presents Cas with the “I Wuv Hugs” bear, Cas hugs it tight, holding onto it for the rest of the night.

There’s an unusual amount of flirting, for them. Of course, low-level flirting is kind of Dean’s default setting, so the two have always had a certain level of playful banter, but today it’s more. There are several times when one of them will drag the other by the hand, off to this game or that ride, and then conveniently forget to let go for a while. Neither of them mention this. When they get cotton candy ( _after_ the Rotor ride, thank you), Dean feeds it to Cas in little handfuls, as they walk. He catches Cas looking at him after a few bites, and looks bemused. “What’s up? Is there cotton candy splooge on my face?”

_He loves me. I love him._

Goofy smile still firmly in place, Cas just shakes his head. “No, you’re good. A little sticky, but good.”

Dean snickers. “You like me a little sticky though, dontcha Cas?” he says, winking.

And just like that, he sees it. They have these sweet little moments – romantic moments – all the damn time! And one of them _always_ rushes to crack a joke, or say something sarcastic; anything to change the subject, lighten the mood. Anything to cover up the fact that they were serious. That this is real. And they _both_ did it. The two of them have been sabotaging these moments for ages. God, how could they both be so damn stupid?

Cas looks up at the next ride in the row they’re walking along. Ferris wheel – arguably the most romantic ride in the park. Perfect. He grabs Dean’s clean hand and pulls him into the short, late afternoon line.

“Ferris wheel, huh? Such a thrill seeker,” Dean chuckles and rolls his eyes.

“Are you going to be OK with the height?”

“Psshh. I’m fine with heights attached to the ground. It’s the free-flying ones I don’t trust.”

“Well, you can hold my hand if you get nervous.”

“I AM holding your hand,” Dean grins, swinging their arms together, like little kids.

“There you go, then.”

Dean chucks the now empty cotton candy pouch away, sucking the sticky sugar off his fingers, just as they reach the front of the line. When they board the car, Cas sits maybe 3” away from Dean, and tucks the arm of his I Wuv Hugs bear safely into his belt. Dean scoffs at him. “You’re really keepin’ that thing, huh?”

Lifting his chin, Cas smiles sweetly and replies, “I will cherish him forever”. Dean rolls his eyes, but Cas spots the blush starting to spread across his cheeks.

Three-quarters of the way up, Dean starts to sweat. He scoots closer to Cas, then immediately freezes, when the car begins to rock from the motion. He reaches out and grabs Cas’s right hand, squeezing. “I don’t know why I let you drag me up here.”

Cas squeezes his hand in return, then lets go to run it through the hair at the back of Dean’s head. He takes Dean’s hand in his left instead, and squeezes again. Dean’s eyes are wide, staring at the ground below, and his jaw is tight, tendons corded up in his neck. “Talk to me, distract me, will ya?” he bites out.

_Well, if you insist_ . . . Cas thinks.

“OK,” he says lightly. “I love you.”

That immediately snaps Dean out of his panic.

“You wha . . . ?” he breathes, turning his head to face Cas, mouth dropping open.

“I love you. I have for a long time.”

Dean blinks.

“How’s that for a distrac . . .” Cas begins, but he’s cut off by Dean’s mouth against his. It’s sweet and gentle, and a totally different kind of passionate than their ‘friends-with-benefits’ kisses usually are. By the time they break apart, their car is almost back to the bottom of the Ferris wheel.

Dean tilts his head down, pressing their foreheads together. “So, it’s probably pretty obvious by now, but, umm . . . I uhh, I’ve kinda been in love with you for years. Glad you finally caught up.”

Cas’s eyes grow wider, before his grin pops back up on his face. He takes Dean’s hand again, as they exit the ride. Plunking down on a bench, he stares up at him. “I didn’t need to catch up, Dean. I’ve been crazy about you since college. I just didn’t think you were interested.”

Dean’s eyebrows do a little dance, scrunching down and then zipping up at the outer ends, then scrunching down again, before he yanks Cas back up to a standing position.

“Since COLLEGE?!?” _Blink, blink_. “Dude, I’m not exactly subtle. Literally every one of our friends has commented on the way I stare at you! I cook you dinner! We’ve gone to three weddings together! I moved to Connecticut for you! How did you NOT think I was interested?!?”

For a moment, Cas looks sheepish - but only for a moment. Then, he levels Dean with a squinty ‘youlistenhere’ look, pointing his finger in accusation.

“Hey, YOU didn’t notice I was into you, either!”

Dean throws both hands in the air. “OK, so we’re both oblivious idiots. Can we stop this friends with benefits bullshit now, and just be a couple?”

That brings the goofy grin back to it’s rightful spot on Cas’s face. He tugs at the bottom of Dean’s shirt, pulling him closer. “Yes, please.” 

**Author's Note:**

> [If you're curious, the douche bag former boss at Cas's library was Zachariah.]


End file.
